“The random memories of a Mexican a girl”

It was just another Saturday morning in the San Fernando Valley. Living as a North Hollywood girl for five years already. My mom’s mariachi music woke me up at 6:00 am. Growing up with a Latin mom, I knew that loud music in the morning meant that we all needed to get up and start cleaning the house. Laying on my bed, looking at the ceiling, I decided to roll to the other side of my bed hoping to sleep a little longer. As I attempted to close my eyes again, I heard my mom saying: It is time to get up. As I got up and knelt down to say a little prayer to my Father in Heaven, I could smell from my room the clean floor from the living room. I enjoyed that familiar “Fabuloso Cleaner” smell that my Latin mom would always use. I started walking towards the living room when another smell caught my attention. It was mom’s delicious Mexican breakfast. As I got closer to the kitchen, my heart felt happy to see on the table warm delicious tortillas, queso fresco, fried beans, and eggs prepared in the Mexican style (huevos a la Mexicana). Mom saw me close to the kitchen and asked me to help her set up the table. I hurried and helped her, when you are Mexican, you know you don’t want your mom to tell you to do something twice. In less than 5 minutes my family and I were sitting around the table eating breakfast that mom prepared for us. We were all laughing and just enjoying each other. We would just talk about random things, perhaps nothing really important but, it was the feeling that I got every time I was with my family that made everything make sense. It made everything worth it, even the little things. I’m grateful for my family and for the things I was able to enjoy. How could I not miss my wonderful stepdad’s advice on how to be a hard worker? How could I not love my mother’s amazing sense of humor? How could I not remember my brother Alfredo teasing me all the time and our little play fights on how he never wanted to share his food with me? How could I not miss my little brother’s contagious loud laugh? How wonderful it is to have a family. How wonderful it is to know that these people truly love you, there might be arguments once in a while, but no matter what, your family will always love you and be there for you. It is a wonderful blessing to be part of a family. And I’m grateful for mine. 

- Karla Selene Torres Chavez

Please come back

It is three in the morning

And I’m just here thinking of you

Wondering if you still remember

All the memories of me and you.

I know I need to let you go

I know it is time to move on

I know you will never come back

Oh how hurtful it is to realize that.

I wish things were different

I wish you could come back

I would give my life just to see you

I wish you knew how much I miss you.

My life seems to be empty

Now that you’re not by my side

All I do is to think

That I love you like I will never love anyone else.

My love and my life

Please come back to my arms

I’ll do anything

To have you in my life.

Author: Karla Selene Torres Chavez. 

No puedo olvidarte, mi amor

Si es que algún día te tuve

Ahora si para siempre te perdí

Quizás fue el destino

O quizás mi inmadurez.

Di un paso hacia adelante

Y ya no puedo mirar atrás

No sé que fue lo que hice

No se porque lo hice.

No hay día ni minuto

En que yo no piense en ti

En que no quiera retroceder

En que no quiera tenerte junto a mí.

Ya no importa nada

Todo quedo atrás

Y aun si quisiera dar un paso atrás

se que conmigo nunca estarás.

Me pregunto si me extrañas

Aunque sea un poquito

Me pregunto si cuestionas

Que ya no este contigo.

Los días y las horas pasan

Y yo no puedo olvidarme de ti

Y tú quizás ni recuerdas

Que un día forme parte de tu existir.

De verdad quisiera olvidarme de ti

Pero parece imposible

No puedo amar a nadie

De la forma en que te amé a ti.

Arrodillada he pedido

Que un milagro pueda pasar

Que regreses y me abraces

Y que nunca te vayas más.

La realidad me ahoga el alma

El dolor inunda mi corazón

Pues no importa lo que yo haga

No puedo olvidarte, mi amor. 

Autor: Karla Selene Torres Chávez

Lo que yo más quise

Cuantos pensamientos

Inundan mi cabeza

La ahogan con recuerdos

Que debería desechar.

La vida me ha enseñado

Que jamás estaré junto a ti

Y que si algún día te tuve

Ahora si para siempre te perdí.

Confusión y desilusión

Ahogan mi esperanza

Pues me duele saber

Que a mi lado nunca estarás.

Si en mis manos estuviera

Hacer algo diferente

Yo lo haría sin pensarlo

Lo haría paso a paso.

Espero que te vaya bien

Que la felicidad te abrace fuerte

Pero también espero

Que para siempre me recuerdes.

No sé cuando te olvidare

No sé cuando volveré amar

Ahora solo puedo pensar

Que a ti te amo nada más.

Aun así mi amor

Me he alejado de tu vida

Te recuerdo quiero borrar

Pues mi felicidad quiero recuperar.

Adiós para siempre

Te lo digo con dolor

Te lo digo destrozada

Pues te quise con fervor.

Y si algún día te vuelvo a ver

Espero que me perdones

Que comprendas que lo que hice

Fue  porque fuiste lo que yo más quise.

Autor: Karla Selene Torres Chávez

Algún día te olvidaré

Como sacarte de mi corazón

Quisiera escaparme de ti

No puedo ni un minuto

Dejar de pensar en ti.

Amarte es mi martirio

Y parece que no entenderé

Que nunca estarás conmigo

Y que debo olvidar lo que fue.

Tu indiferencia me hiere

El olvido me causa dolor

Quisiera tener el valor

De sacarte de mi corazón.

Esta pena es muy grande

Me ha partido el corazón

Me ha sacado lágrimas amargas

Y me ha hecho perder la razón.

Correr sin parar quisiera

Escaparme de esta situación

Pero aunque me fuera a Marte

Aun estarías en mi corazón.

Si supieras cuanto te quiero

Y si pudieras valorarlo

Quisiera cerrar los ojos

Y al abrirlos verte a mi lado.

Sé que algún día te olvidare

Y tu recuerdo me dejará en paz

Anhelo que llegue el día

En que ya no me importes más.

No importa lo que pase

No perderé mi fe

Y aunque te quiero con el alma

Un día te sacare de mi ser.

Autor: Karla Selene Torres Chávez 

A ti, mi hermoso amor

A ti mi hermoso amor

te escribo estas palabras

dejandote saber que yo

aun sueño con tu mirada.

Mi más grande amor, eres tú

y la fuerza de mi vivir

quisiera que fueras tú

el que abrace mi existir.

Sé que algún día te olvidaré

quizás en setenta años

porque lo que tu me hiciste sentir

no se borrará tan rapido.

Momentos de tristeza

llegue a sentir por ti

pues anhelaba que me quisieras

y que me hicieras muy feliz.

El saber que te has ido

me hace extrañarte intensamente

quisiera regresar el tiempo

y abrazarte nuevamente.

De mi parte solo me queda

desearte lo mejor

espero que me recuerdes

de la forma que te recuerdo yo.

Autor: Karla Selene Torres Chávez

A Super Power

I love writing and I’m grateful I have the opportunity to write in this blog. Lately, I’ve been thinking about agency, the power God has given us to choose. I’ve been thinking on how it is such a blessing in our lives. We know we can choose, nobody is going to force us to do something we don’t want to do and this just makes me think: Do we even realize how much power we have just because we have the freedom to choose on our own? When I was a little girl, I always wished I could have a really cool super power; agency it’s kind of like a super power because we can choose so many great things in our lives. God has given us this opportunity and this privilege.

 I especially think of this super power when I face difficult times in my life. Life is beautiful but, it is also very hard. There will always be opposition in all things and if you are familiar with “The Plan of Salvation” then you know that difficult times are part of the plan God has for us. Our Heavenly Father knows that it is only through these experiences that we can learn, grow and become the person He wants us to be. But sometimes when we are facing these difficult times, we forget that God is shaping us to become someone better. We feel like we can’t take anymore and we consider the option of giving up. I’m thankful for the knowledge I have of the gospel of Jesus Christ because if it wasn’t for this knowledge, I would have given up long time ago. This gospel gives me the strength to keep going in life and not only to just keep going but it helps me have a happy and positive attitude while I keep on trying. This happy and positive attitude doesn’t come automatically, this is when we have to exercise our super power. No matter what our circumstances are, we can always choose to elevate our thoughts and walk towards the light. This isn’t easy but, it is possible if we put our trust in our Savior Jesus Christ. Heavenly Father wants us to be happy, Satan doesn’t. When we choose to stay sad and miserable, we give Satan power over us and he can make us be something we are not. We are so much better than that. When we choose to elevate our thoughts and walk away from darkness, we can accomplish things we never thought before and we are doing our part by becoming the person Heavenly Father wants to be. And there is so much we can do with our super power of agency. We can choose to be kind always especially to people who perhaps aren’t so kind to us, we can choose to make a difference. We can choose to look at the bright side when we are experiencing a negative situation. We can choose to have faith when our world seems to be surrounded by darkness.

We will for sure have our weak moments. These moments are necessary as well. Sometimes we just need a moment to put our thoughts together, a moment to be sad and cry and that’s okay but, eventually we need get going again because life awaits for us and there is so many wonderful things out there just for us. Don’t let sadness and negative thoughts stop you from all the good you can do in this world. The world has enough negativity, enough people who give up. The world has simply enough of everything that is bad and depressing. Don’t become like the world. You are a child of God and you can make a difference. Sometimes we just forget our wonderful worth and the things we are capable of doing. Never forget how amazing you are. You have a wonderful purpose. I know with God’s help we can use our agency to make this world a better place and become like our Heavenly Father. Now, how are you going to use your super power? It is up to you because you can choose. It is God’s gift to you and me. Let’s use it wisely. 

- Karla Selene Torres Chavez